Always
by emily-patronum
Summary: The tale of Severus Snape's fifth year at Hogwarts.    DISCLAIMER:I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, settings, spell, etc. Nor would I pretend to. I am definitely not J.K. Rowling.
1. Chapter 1

The river that ran parallel to Spinner's End was cold even during one of the hottest summers Cokeworth had ever seen. It was also a private spot; most people avoided the murky, litter-filled water. Severus Snape and Lily Evans, however, won't most people. Most people wouldn't be discussing the uses of being an Animagi, or scratching Potions essays on scrolls of parchment with eagle feather quills. Most people wouldn't be laughing about a boy named James Potter nearly falling off his broom in a game of Quidditch. Most people weren't preparing for a return to Hogwarts. Most people weren't wizards.

"Y'know, Sev," Lily said loudly, slamming her copy of _1000 Magical Herbs and Fungi _shut and kicking her feet out of the murky water, "I think the uses and properties of dittany can wait. There's going to be enough time to work later." Her vibrant green eyes lit up as she turned to face her best friend, who was lazily scrawling a conclusion to his essay. He scratched a few more words on the parchment before looking up, his black eyes eager.

"I'm already finished," he said, the barest trace of pride in his voice. Severus was an uncommonly gifted wizard, and Potions was his best subject. He laid down on his back, and looked back up at Lily. "But, what did you want to do?"

"Anything but Potions," she said simply. "We'll have enough of that this year, with O.W.L.s and everything." O.W.L.s were some of the most important exams they would take at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The results would determine their future. "I don't want to go home-"

"Me neither!" Severus interrupted. Returning to his house meant dealing with his Muggle father, and he would rather copy every page of _1000 Magical Herbs and Fungi_ than leave Lily for that. "We could go to the mill," he suggested, looking at the abandoned textile mill far off in the distance. "There's shade, and we won't risk catching some kind of disease from polluted water." He shot a glance at an empty can of tomato soup that floated merrily past them.

Lily was on her feet in an instant. "Let's go!" She held out her hand to Severus. He happily took it, enjoying how it fit so warmly in his. He allowed her to pull him along, dreading that moment when she would let go.

Lily yanked his arm hard, pulling him to her side, but kept holding his hand. What she meant by it, Severus wasn't sure. He could invent a spell in five minutes, but the way girls' minds (specifically Lily's) were foreign to him.

"Tuney has a boyfriend," she said. "His name is Vernon Dursley, and he's the biggest Muggle I've ever met."

"Bigger than your sister?" Severus asked. He hated Petunia Evans almost as much as he loved her far more desirable sister.

"Immensely." Lily rolled her eyes. "In all ways. He's very…" she scrunched her nose as she searched for an accurate word, "round. And he's excruciatingly passionate about the most boring things, like cars and his intern ship at a drill company. Drills!" A rant was coming; Severus could sense it. "Don't even get him started on drills!" Lily continued. "He could talk for hours about drills. Until he's purple in the face, which really makes him look like a plum."

They had reached the mill. Majority of the windows were broken, cobwebs covering up the holes. The door was removed from the hinges, most likely taken down to one of the houses at Spinner's End. None of the people there were rich, including the Snapes. Severus tugged on his ill-fitting shirt disgustedly, remembering how it used to be his father's. The floor of the mill was covered with dust, converting the once red bricks to a dirty grey. Dirty tables filled the room, almost giving it a look of an ill-cared-for Great Hall. Lily marched up to one table, cleaned herself a spot, and jumped onto it, tucking her legs under the bar underneath her new seat. Severus leaned against the opposite table, resting his skinny elbow in a mountain of dust.

"You're going to meet the Vernon bloke, Sev," Lily chimed, a mischievous smile twisty on her thin face. "He's at my house every day, and I know you want something new to laugh at." Her green eyes pierced him knowingly. "How is it at your house?"

Severus sighed. "Same. My mum yells. My dad yells louder. I stay in my room until I can leave again." He looked at the floor. A beetle was twitching on the ground, covered in grime. "He hit my mum the other day," he said softly. "That was the first time, I think." He stepped on the beetle, putting in out of its misery.

The scene replayed in his head, like one of those Muggle movies Lily always dragged him to. He had been writing his Transfiguration essay, when he heard a crash, which normally signaled one of his father's rages. He had been shouting about something, most likely money, or Severus, or his job, or Eileen, or magic. Occasionally he shouted about the government or weather, but those never had crashes involved.

"WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO SEND THE BOY TO THAT DAMN MAGIC SCHOOL, EILEEN? WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT ANYMORE?"

Severus _and_ magic. A new bloody record. Severus had run down the stairs, as his mother snapped something unintelligible. He had intentions of stopping the fight, or at least calming the waters if he could.

"GODDAMMIT, BITCH." Tobias Snape had been livid. Whatever Eileen had told him must have struck a nerve, because he was turning a very violent shade of red. "I ALREADY WORK EXTRA SHIFTS TO SEND HIM TO LEARN MAGIC TRICKS. AND YOU WANT TO BUY HIM SOMETHING ELSE THAT HE DOESN'T NEED?" He had raised a trembling hand, and struck Eileen across her sallow face. She had crumpled delicately to the ground, like a puppet cut from its strings. Severus had just stood there, and suddenly he was a little boy again, crying as his parents yelled about his future. He had burst out the door and ran to the river, just wanting to escape his house. Not his home. Hogwarts was his only home.

"Sev?" Lily's soft voice brought him back to the present. His foot was still on the beetle. He regretted killing it now, even though it would have died eventually in the same spot, never being able to flip around.

Lily leaped down from her seat, and threw her arms around Severus. He embraced her eagerly, resting his forehead on the top of head, momentarily intoxicated from the flowery scent that wafted from her fiery red hair. He could have stayed there forever and would have been happy.

"I'm sorry your dad is such a git," she said solemnly. "Whenever I turn seventeen, I'll hex him into oblivion for you. Everything—from the Bat Bogey Hex to the Jelly Legs Jinx."

Severus chuckled weakly. Lily was the only person that could make him feel better.

"Come on," she said, taking his hand again. "We're going to get you a nice laugh."

He must have looked confused because she answered, "Time for you to meet Vernon Dursley."

"Lily," Petunia Evans hissed from her spot on the sofa of the Evans' living room, "why did you bring him?" He jerked her head towards Severus. She looked like a horse shaking her mane. The thought made Severus smirk.

"To meet Vernon," Lily shrugged and plopped down in an empty an empty lounger. She winked at Severus and patted the arm of the chair, gesturing for him to sit. He obliged, flashing a wide grin at Petunia, who was turning a very impressive shade of pink. She hated Severus with a burning passion. Alright, so he did cause a branch to drop on her when he was eleven, but he could barely control his magic then. She also deserved it.

"He's not the kind of person Vernon wants to meet," Petunia said loudly, turning to the fat bloke beside her. Lily was right; if he was purple, he would look remarkably like a plum. Severus made a mental note to ask him about drills later. He turned to Petunia, who was remarkably lucky there wasn't a branch around, and that he couldn't use magic.

"He's also not deaf," Severus shot back. He leaned across to Vernon. "Hi, I'm Severus Snape. Lily's best friend." The pride was in his voice, he could practically taste it.

"Huh?" Vernon snorted. _Real charmer_, Severus thought. "Vernon Dursley." He shook Severus considerably smaller hand, nearly crushing it in his ham sized one.

"Er," Severus stole a glance at Lily. She pinched his thigh and twisted her mouth into a crooked smile. "Lily tells me you work for a drill company."

Petunia glared at her sister. Vernon, however, looked very pleased. Severus suspected he enjoyed feeling superior. Maybe that's why he let himself get so large.

"Well, Snapple," Vernon began, his beady eyes looking ecstatic. Severus gritted his teeth, but ignored the mistake. If Vernon's undersized head was any indication of the size of his brain, Severus' name could easily be forgotten for a second time.

"…Mr. Grasion, however, says he'd rather see me become manager than one of the other low-lifes that apply. They should just imprison the lot…"

Severus snorted, but he was able to pass it off as a sneeze. Lily was right; this Muggle was good for a laugh. Petunia continued to glare. She really looked like an angry horse. He couldn't wait to tell Avery about this Muggle. He would definitely be entertained.

"Snade?" Vernon's obnoxious tone shook him out of his thoughts. Severus cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes?" His sarcasm was registered, and Vernon glared, his face turning a pleasant purple.

"Come on, Vernon," Petunia cooed. "You don't need to waste your time with _freaks _like them." She pulled Vernon to his feet (it seemed like quite a struggle on her part), and they were gone. Her parting comment was obviously meant to offend, but Severus ignored it. She didn't know what he could do. Lily, however, seemed deeply perturbed.

"Don't worry about her, Lily," Severus said. "She's just jealous. You remember the letter." He was, of course, referring to the letter from Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster, that he and Lily had found right before their first year at Hogwarts. Petunia had begged to be admitted, and declined. _As she should have been, _Severus thought bitterly. Hogwarts with Petunia Evans would have been a living hell.

Lily looked up at him, and hooked a piece of red hair behind her ear in an almost defiant nature. "She's still my sister, Sev. And she hates me."

Severus ran a hand through his shaggy black hair, instantly reminding himself of James Potter. He stopped immediately, his hand still on top of his head. Lily looked at him curiously. He jerked it down and put it on her shoulder instead.

"Look, in a few days, we'll be at Hogwarts, and you won't have to deal with her at all," Severus told her in what he hoped sounded comforting. Lily didn't look convinced. Severus guessed that telling her he'd hex Petunia wouldn't help either.

"It's all going to work out, Lily," Severus said, glancing at the clock. "Damn!"

Lily followed his gaze. "Are you late again?" she asked. "You better go before your dad blows a fuse."

Severus rushed for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow!" he shouted over his shoulder, already running to Spinner's End.

"You're late," Tobias Snape growled at his son. The hooked nose he had so humbly bestowed to his son crinkled in anger. "Were you with that bloody girl?"

"Yes," Severus answered sullenly. "And she's a sight better than you," he mumbled under his breath. Tobias appeared to not have heard, or he would have shouted some more. Severus sprinted up the stairs to his room, happy to escape without too much conflict, especially his tardiness.

"EILEEN," Tobias thundered downstairs. Severus put his head in his hands. Three more days until the much anticipated return to Hogwarts. He could handle it.

Of course, at Hogwarts he had to deal with James Potter, who was, in Severus' humble opinion, a bloody git. He and Severus had hated each other ever since their first trip on the Hogwarts Express. Snivellus, Potter had called him. And unfortunately, the nickname had stuck, even five years later. He also fancied Lily, which only heightened Severus' enmity toward him. Luckily, Lily loathed him, which was a small compensation. James and his followers, mainly Sirius Black, also wasted no time in hexing Severus in the corridors. This year, however, Severus had a few more hexes up his sleeve. He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a battered book, titled _Advanced Potion-Making. _He had nicked it from his mum's stack of old textbooks the previous summer. Severus had improved the book immensely, adding in his own directions, which created much better potions. He had also invented some new spells that he was itching to experiment on James Potter, Levicorpus especially. It caused the victim to be hoisted up in the air by his ankle. Just the thought of Potter dangling in the air made Severus grin.

Potter would regret the day he made an enemy of the Half-Blood Prince.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I forgot to do one of these last chapter. Sorry. Anyway, thank so much for the reviews They mean a lot :3

Sorry this is late. I just started school.

Also, there were supposed to be breaks in that chapter that didn't download correctly, so it might not have made sense. I'm sorry about that.

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"You really should join the Gobstones team, Severus," Eileen glanced at her son in from the passenger seat of the rust-colored Chevrolet Chevette. Tobias had bought it used two years ago, when their old Ford had died unceremoniously. The Chevrolet was cramped and smelled suspiciously of dog.. Eileen had magically expanded the trunk in order to fit Severus' trunk.

"Mum, for the last time." Severus started, his mouth shaping over the familiar words. "I understand that you were Captain, and naturally you want me to carry on the family legacy." He paused dramatically and rolled his eyes. This conversation was getting tiring. "But I have far more important things to do than play _Gobstones._" Eileen's sallow face fell, and Severus sighed with guilt. This too was part of the routine.

"Plus, I'll have O.W.L.s to study for this year," Severus amended hastily. "I'll probably be spending all my time studying for those." He smiled at his mother, and her similar features looked slightly happier. She never looked completely happy. She had to have been happy at one time in her life, but Severus had never seen such a thing. Maybe if she hadn't given birth to him, she would have left Tobias a long time ago. The though sobered Severus immensely.

"We're here," Eileen said, just as she parked the car at King's Cross station. People were all milling about, but Severus could still notice the wizards among them. The owls were a dead giveaway. He scanned the entrance in search for a flash of red hair, a trademark of Lily Evans. Instead he saw unruly black hair disappearing into the station. He wanted to find Lily before Potter did. He leaped out of the car, hurried to grab, his trunk, and was gone before him mum had exited the car, her face bemused at her only son's sudden disappearance.

King's Cross was bustling with Muggles. Severus pushed through the mob and claimed a cart for his worn trunk. He practically ran to the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10, bumping shoulders with hundreds of people along the way. The Muggles gave him vicious and surprised looks, especially when they took in his messy hair and oversized clothes, immediately categorizing him as a delinquent. Severus shrugged it off, and carefully vanished between the barrier, suddenly finding himself on the crowded Platform 9 ¾. He stood beside the barrier, and suddenly his mum collided into him.

"Are you ready?" she asked after straightening herself out and pushing Severus out of the path of incoming wizards. Severus nodded in response. She hugged him, bid him farewell, and disappeared through the barrier again.

Severus spotted Lily by the scarlet Hogwarts Express; she was embracing Alice Jameson by the steam engine. He rushed to her side, bumping in to the shoulder of a disgruntled seventh year. Alice gave him a look of loathing, scrunching up her round face into a glare. She said good-bye to Lily and left to join Mary Macdonald, a Muggle-born that couldn't help but stick her nose in other people's business. Lily, however, liked her, so Severus attempted to tolerate her.

"Wanna go find a compartment?" Lily asked cheerfully, ignoring Alice's abrupt exit. His answer, however was interrupted by none other than James Potter and his disciples.

"Evans!" he said happily, throwing a long arm around Lily's shoulders. Peter Pettigrew chortled in the background. Severus would have hated Pettigrew even if he wasn't part of Potter's cult. His idiocy gained him Severus' utmost loathing.

"James," Lily said shortly, shrugging out of his grasp with a grimace. She glanced at Severus and rolled her eyes. Severus couldn't help but smirk a little at James, which didn't go unnoticed by Sirius Black.

"What are you smiling about, Snivelly?" Black sneered. "If I was as big a worthless git as you, I don't think I'd have anything to smile about." He turned to James for approval, which came in the form of a high-five with a resounding clap that pounded in Severus' ears. He felt hot, as his blood boiled in hatred, far greater than the loathing that stayed in Potter's hazel eyes. Severus turned to Black and yanked his wand out of his robes.

_Levi-_

"STOP!" Lily screeched, causing several heads to turn in their direction. After seeing so familiar a scene, they turned back to their conversations. "Leave him alone, Sirius. Just go. All of you. We don't have time to deal with disgusting warts like you." She glared at three of the four, her green eyes softening at the sight of Remus Lupin, who was hanging back solemnly, not joining his friends, but not stopping them either, a Prefect badge gleaming on his chest. Severus and Lily had been made Prefects as well, their badges pinned to their chests.

"Merlin's beard, Evans, we were only joking," Potter's eyes widened in alarm. He obviously had been hoping for a different reaction. "Right, Snivellus?" Potter pounded him on the back, causing him to cough as he was pushed forward.

"No," Severus said, his voice saturated with venom. There was no name for what he was feeling. This went beyond loathing, beyond hatred. His raged through him, burning through his veins, consuming him entirely. His mind ran through curses, and he stopped on one that would ensure his safety from Potter for the rest of his years at Hogwarts. Then suddenly, the anger stopped, clouded by something stronger.

Lily had put her small pale hand around Severus wrist. He looked down at her, and she shook her head slightly, almost as if she had read his mind. She turned to Potter. "You need to go," she said softly. James glared at Severus. "Now," Lily said louder.

"Come on, Prongs," Lupin said quietly, pulling his friend toward the train. With one more glance at Lily, Potter disappeared onto the train.

"Sev?" Lily asked worriedly. He was still tense, his shoulders raised, his teeth clench, his wand held tightly in his hand.

"I'm fine," Severus lied, faking a smile for her benefit. "C'mon, let's go pick out a compartment before we have to go to the Prefects' carriage. She narrowed her almond-shaped eyes, not entirely convinced. Severus couldn't help but noticed how beautiful she was.

She slipped her hand in his and pulled him toward the train. "You shouldn't let them get to you. They're not worth you getting angry over," Lily said matter-of-factly. They walked past a compartment full of fifth-year Ravenclaws, who stared at them and giggled. The sounds echoed through Severus' head. He knew the reason for their laughter.

"_Him,_ Lily?" shrieked a tall skinny blonde girl with a broad forehead. Lily didn't respond, but there was a faint blush in her cheeks. Severus' stomach knotted in anger.

"Here's one, Sev," Lily said, pushing her trunk into the tiny cell. Severus followed suit, and then they turned around and forced their way back to the front of the train. He led the way, and she followed him closely. She didn't grab his hand this time, a detail he realized with distinct bitterness.

The Prefects' Carriage was larger than it appeared from an outside glance. There was a table covered with Pumpkin Pasties and Cauldron Cakes. The seats were covered in a soft scarlet velvet, and occupied by different students. Lupin smiled at Lily from his spot next to Audrey Marcus, a new Ravenclaw Prefect. His robes were patched in several places, and worry lines were already etched into his face. Severus added the lines to his growing list of suspicious things about Lupin, which already included the mysterious illness he was inflicted with every month.

The Head Boy stood up. He was a scrawny Hufflepuff. "Alright," he said in a thin voice. "Make sure you're patrolling the train today. We don't want any major magic done." Severus tuned him out. He didn't even _want _to be a Prefect. There was the benefit of the bathroom, though. He remembered Lucius Malfoy bragging about it in his first year. Severus turned his gaze to Lily. She was listening to the Head Boy with moderate attentiveness. She alternated between looking at the Hufflepuff that was _still _talking and looking around the compartment. Most of the people smiled at her.

"Oh, and the password to the bathroom is _lemony fresh_. You can go now." Everybody rushed to exit, and the Head Boy's feeble cry of "Don't forget to patrol!" was lost in the mass. Lily and Severus hurried to their compartment, which surprisingly, was still empty. Severus slid near the window and watched the outside world fly past.

"You do know that James and Sirius are the world's biggest gits, right?" Lily asked, her eyes wide and worried. Severus knew she wouldn't be able to resist talking about the early incident.

"They've worked hard for that title," Severus said sharply. He meant to say it jokingly, but it sounded bitter instead. He was bitter; he just didn't want Lily to know.

"And Peter…" Lily trailed off, searching for the right word.

"Is also a git," Severus finished for her. "And an idiot." Lily laughed in agreement.

"Remus isn't that awful, y'know. He's really quiet, and he never laughs when James and Sirius fail miserably at being funny."

"There's something odd about him, Lily," Severus said, ignoring the truth in her case about Lupin. "Haven't you noticed?"

"If by odd, you mean he's one of the only people who's not a pain in the arse, then yes, he's odd."

"He gets sick every month," Severus continued. "Every month, every _month, _every…." He had an idea. All it would take was an astronomy map.

Lily watched him carefully, her eyebrows knitting together, making her forehead crease. Severus was quick to change the subject. "I wonder who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be." They had never had a D.A.D.A. teacher that stayed for more than a year. Unlike most of the students at Hogwarts, Severus found the Dark Arts fascinating. They were complex, presenting different weapons to use against enemies, and were unstoppable. That amount of power attracted Severus. He craved to understand something with such depth, to master the powers of the Dark. He would never feel inferior again Not to anyone, not his father, not James Potter. The idea of the uncertainty and lack of control that manifested from the Dark Arts was stored among the deepest longings in Severus' heart, only to be thought of occasionally, lest he be consumed by them. Defense was also a practical tool to have, in Severus' opinion. He believed that one should also know how to combat something as powerful as the Dark Arts, therefore gaining true power over them. Like anything else, to the Dark Arts required understanding and control.

"I doubt it even matters," Lily said nonchalantly, pulling a book out of her bag. "They'll be gone next year." She started flipping through her book, scanning the well-known pages.

"Are you reading _A History of Magic _again?" Severus asked incredulously. She had read that book over a hundred times. He didn't understand how, because he found it excruciatingly dull, like a drawn-out History of Magic class.

"It's my favorite," Lily said defensively, lazily flipping a dog-eared page.

"_Why?_" Severus asked, staring at the worn book like it was a foreign creature.

"Because," Lily sighed. "It was the first magical book I ever bought. And I just like it." She stroked the cover affectionately, and put it back in her bag. Severus always forgot that Lily was Muggle-born. Growing up with Tobias had left him with a hatred of Muggles and their offspring, magical or not. Lily had always been the exception to his prejudiced rule. She was talented and uncommonly powerful. She was the only person he truly cared for. Her blood made no difference. It never would.

She pulled out one of their new textbooks, and they settled into one of those silences that are only comfortable when shared between the very best of friends. Severus took this time to just stare at her, soaking in her overall brilliance, her _radiance._ He allowed the essence of Lily to fill him. The way her dark lashes brushed her cheekbones as she read her book. How she pulled her lip between her teeth in concentration. The fiery color of her hair that was long enough to hit the small of her back. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled at him. Her charm, her wit! Some new emotion floated through his veins. Hope? Desire? Happiness_?_ _Love_?Every feeling he associated with Lily. He want to tell her, now would be the perfect time. They were alone, they were going back to Hogwarts, she kept holding his hand… He opened his mouth to tell her, but was interrupted by the opening of their compartment door.

A tuft of untidy black hair peeked through the doorway. Potter. Severus glared at him.

"Er, Lily," he said awkwardly. "We're almost to Hogwarts. Well we're actually there now. Just thought I'd tell you." He left without acknowledging Severus' presence. Severus glanced out the window and saw the looming silhouette of the castle ahead. His heart soared. Lily smiled at him. It felt good to be ." HHo


End file.
